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Everything posted by Kiernon

  1. Anniversary Screenshot Contest

    This one turned out rather nice: "Here's your double order of stake, sir!" (In unrelated non-news: Back to lurking for me, life's still hectic and doesn't leave me a lot of downtime. Will update you lot when there's any change to my situation.)
  2. Forgive me the whining but if I don't get this out of my system somehow I'm going to explode.

    So my cat just died. On the way to the vet, with no warning besides him refusing to eat yesterday. Gastric cancer presumably.


    I'm at a loss for words. Everything reminds me of the 15 years he's been a part of my life and that he's just gone now.

    I keep losing my train of thought, the only thing that's coming to me is "FUCK!!!" Big, angry, red, capital letters, multiple exclamation marks and all, I just want to scream it at the top of my lungs. That and the icy razor in my gut.

    There's never a good timing for these things but this is the worst, there's nobody around I can talk to. I'm afraid I'm just asking for another bout of depression. Actually afraid, because I dread the havoc it would wreak on the fragile semblance of order I built in my daily life.

    I can't even decide if I want to yell or cry.

    If anyone needs me I'll be wallowing in misery under my blanket. Then trying to force myself to go out and see people.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Kiernon


      Don't you worry, you're not intruding. I wouldn't have posted this if I didn't seek dialogue.

      In fact your reply means a lot to me because I don't actually have a lot of friends and this community is precious to me. Thank you.

      The loss of a loved pet seems like something most people can empathize with regardless of knowing the other person or not.

      But if you happen to be interested in myself and why I'm making such a big deal out of this it's in part because I've had him for half my life and in part because of my mental condition.

      I'm suffering from living with depression, I'm terrible with people I'm not familiar with and I don't leave the house often.

      It's almost like I've lost a friend on Monday. 


      The last two days were hard, trying to go to sleep on Monday night in particular, but I'm slowly regaining my mental balance.

      I fiercely miss my cat but I'm not falling down the dark pit I've been afraid of.

      Things aren't all right but they could be worse.

      A huge part of this is owed to a friend who despite being unable to see me in person on account of living on the other end of Germany spent five hours on the phone talking to me.

      What my friends are lacking in quantity they make up in quality. And that seems like a fine thought to end on.

    3. Mayahuel


      Oh, I'm so glad! And I'm very happy to hear that you had someone who was such a great friend who took the time to make sure you had a shoulder to lean on. That's fantastic.

      Living with depression is a tough battle that a couple of very dear friends of mine also struggle through each day. I would never presume to know how hard that is, but I think it says a lot about your progress/coping abilities that you are open about it and that you can reach out to your friends when you need a boost. 

      On a completely different note, I think that your writing is really lovely and it was your character profile for Ryjalon that inspired me to create an IC blog of my own, which has given me all sorts of great creative outlets to explore. So thank you for that.  :-)

    4. Ciritty


      I need to visit the forum more... so sorry Kiernon :(

  3. Busy, busy, busy.

    So I've not fallen off the face of the planet, I'm just busy trying to get myself employed.

    It's not going particularly well.

    If anyone ever invents timetravel I'd like to go back six years and give myself a motivational kick in the behind. Would at least save me a lot of annoying questions.

    Yes I realize I'm older than your average applicant, what do you expect me to do about it, age backwards?

  4. Revenge

    I concur. To provide a different spin, Revenge: Best served... ...in a fashion that makes it look like anything but revenge. Until it's too late. There's nothing quite as satisfying as kindly helping people along as their own plans move them towards their doom.
  5. Merge RP Threads

    I may be misunderstanding what you're wanting but assuming we're on the topic of IC blogs in the rp section then the tag system takes good care of that, proper tagging provided. Simply clicking on the "blog" tag takes you here. I probably am misunderstanding, aren't I?
  6. What is you most memorable moments in gaming?

    I just remembered another memory that's a bit more recent than the DAoC days of old: Deadspace 3 co-op. If I've ever seen a memorable co-op campaign recently it's that one. And it only got better. A pity the DLC was such a letdown.
  7. In one of the rare occasions that see me leaving the house I'm going to see Fiddler's Green.

  8. Three Word Story [Forum Game]

    its haircut that
  9. Three Word Story [Forum Game]

    the implacable, pink
  10. The Secret World: Ultimate Edition

    I've seen it, immediately tried to spring it on the guy I'm usually gaming with but he resisted. Again. Nothing in it I don't already have, aside from the outfit and it's much to expensive just for that. And I don't have a matching hat for it anyway so I can hold off on getting it, maybe they do decide to include it for Grand Masters eventually. Or give me a way to gift the entirety of the bundle except the outfit, then I'll get one to throw at the unwashed peasants.
  11. Room 33 [Random Chat Topic]

    ​And I learned something new about religion today, thank you ​Thanks for explaining, I figured it was something like that but decided to admit defeat instead of looking up what number conversion it was.
  12. Room 33 [Random Chat Topic]

    ​Religion is not really one of my strong points, for various reasons, but wouldn't that be a dyslectic agnostic insomniac? I always thought athenists atheists were the ones believing that there is no dog.
  13. Room 33 [Random Chat Topic]

    17 out of 20 is a lot better than I would've given myself credit for. Especially since I consider myself anything but intellectual. I had to look up someone for 13, had to think about 9, and a while too, and I don't get 12.
  14. What music are you listening to?

    This thread, it needs love. So, have more Fiddler's. ...I'm starting to see a pattern. Maybe I should break away from the theme of the romantic misadventures of young men. Or maybe not?
  15. Room 33 [Random Chat Topic]

    So, I got on the bike bandwagon. The headlights don't seem to work, though. I found a workaround But then again there's still that blindfold so GET OUT OF THE WAY!
  16. Three Word Story [Forum Game]

    while wearing sombreros ((I don't think I'll get that mental picture out of my head for a while. Don't mind my hysterical laughter.))
  17. Wheel of Time vs Belgariad/Mallorean

    I have not read the Belgariad yet (and my backlog just increased by ten books) so there's not much point in me voting, yet. Let me just say that every time I read WoT I have the urge to stab Rand with a rusty spoon.
  18. What is you most memorable moments in gaming?

    Oh ye gods, there's so many of those. What to choose, what to choose? To start with the vague, one of the memories that will always be with me is the first time clearing a raid in my first MMO. Defeating Ragnaros in WoW to be precise, as one of the only four people left standing no less. That moment when Ventrilo exploded into cheers is going to stay with me. On to the PvP side of "did that just happen?" Dark Age of Camelot on the (EU) Lyonesse server, a friend and I had been farming in Darkness Falls he on a Reaver, I with a Friar. Both of them PvE characters so we were at a rather low Realm (PvP) Rank, RR5 I think. We were just about to call it a day, my friend was actually in the middle of logging out and I was going through my bags. As soon as my friends character disappeared I'm hit by a stun, a Nightshade (think caster rogue) decided I was an easy target. I survive the initial 5 second stun with half of my health and begin to wail on him with my staff. To those not familiar with DAoC, Friars work a lot like TSW survival builds if specced for it. A lot of the staff styles add a heal over time effect or simply heal on hit if the position and combo requirements are met. Strangely the Nightshade sticks to melee range so what follows is 3 minutes or so of us exchanging blows. My health effectively isn't going up or down while I slowly whittle his health down to 10% or so. We're both out of significant cooldowns, he decides to run. He finally has the notion of rooting me and runs, 15 meters later his remaining health is melted by a Heretic that happened to be on the way to the exit. The sheer amount of realm points I got for the kill prompted me to look up what rank he was, turns out I won against a RR12. In terms of power the gap between our realm ranks was huge. And he could've won that fight easily, if only he kited me instead of going melee. On to "WTF am I doing and why is this so awesome?". Antichamber. Don't spoil it with videos, play it. On to "plot tweest" Plot twist: there is no recount of a memorable plot twist. There's just too many to choose from and it's hard to not spoil anything.
  19. Three Word Story [Forum Game]

    looking rather glum
  20. After careful review I  come to the conclusion that being sick is largely overrated.

    I'm spending most of my day burying myself under blankets because I'm freezing only to throw them aside 5 minutes later because I feel like I'm boiling, 5 minutes later I'm reaching for the blankets because I'm freezing...

    Let's not even talk about the never ending stream of Filth coming from my nose.

    At least I can browse the forums (must. avoid. spoilers.) and chew through my backlog of books

  21. After being on a train for 5 hours twice in the past week I feel like I've caught something.

    My throat is killing me :(

    I don't need being sick now, dammit!

  22. Room 33 [Random Chat Topic]

    Because it's Star Wars day and I can't pass up an opportunity to laugh at EA's marketing fails: http://imgur.com/LaJkIDR May the ...fourd? be with you. Maybe it's a nod to Harrison Ford, or it's marketing for cars, or maybe someone screwed up.
  23. Three Word Story [Forum Game]

    "surrender!", it was
  24. Room 33 [Random Chat Topic]

    I've been visiting the friend I'm usually gaming with (but who refuses to give TSW a chance) . We ended up going through the screenshots we took playing together and while we never found the DAoC screens I've been looking for we did find a lot of other memories. We also found a picture of the extravagant look my warlock in Neverwinter was sporting, he claims I'm too afraid to share it so I naturally have to prove him wrong. I can't see anything wrong with it aside from the fact that I never found a suitable pair of boots. Sadly we didn't find a good picture where I was in combat. The fork I was using as a weapon made the outfit so much better. He also claims that anyone seeing that picture is going to be convinced that I'm missing a few marbles but you knew that already.
  25. New forums!

    Yes, it's me again. It seems like I can't add custom tags anymore. Could you add "character profile" ("backstory"? What do you call the things I write?) to the list of predefined tags and stick it to my new post for Ryjalon?