Status Replies posted by Kiernon
Forgive me the whining but if I don't get this out of my system somehow I'm going to explode.
So my cat just died. On the way to the vet, with no warning besides him refusing to eat yesterday. Gastric cancer presumably.
I'm at a loss for words. Everything reminds me of the 15 years he's been a part of my life and that he's just gone now.
I keep losing my train of thought, the only thing that's coming to me is "FUCK!!!" Big, angry, red, capital letters, multiple exclamation marks and all, I just want to scream it at the top of my lungs. That and the icy razor in my gut.
There's never a good timing for these things but this is the worst, there's nobody around I can talk to. I'm afraid I'm just asking for another bout of depression. Actually afraid, because I dread the havoc it would wreak on the fragile semblance of order I built in my daily life.
I can't even decide if I want to yell or cry.
If anyone needs me I'll be wallowing in misery under my blanket. Then trying to force myself to go out and see people.
Don't you worry, you're not intruding. I wouldn't have posted this if I didn't seek dialogue.
In fact your reply means a lot to me because I don't actually have a lot of friends and this community is precious to me. Thank you.
The loss of a loved pet seems like something most people can empathize with regardless of knowing the other person or not.
But if you happen to be interested in myself and why I'm making such a big deal out of this it's in part because I've had him for half my life and in part because of my mental condition.
suffering fromliving with depression, I'm terrible with people I'm not familiar with and I don't leave the house often.
It's almost like I've lost a friend on Monday.
The last two days were hard, trying to go to sleep on Monday night in particular, but I'm slowly regaining my mental balance.
I fiercely miss my cat but I'm not falling down the dark pit I've been afraid of.
Things aren't all right but they could be worse.
A huge part of this is owed to a friend who despite being unable to see me in person on account of living on the other end of Germany spent five hours on the phone talking to me.
What my friends are lacking in quantity they make up in quality. And that seems like a fine thought to end on.